i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
