North Korea, Best Korea!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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