Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
