Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
MIDGETS
????
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
