Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
