barbara walters just said penis...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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