they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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