please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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