goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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