We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Drunk is not a location!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
