Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
