Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
