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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
