Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize