P.S. I can't hear my feet
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
