Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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