He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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