the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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