Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
