yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
