He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize