Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
