My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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