Only a mothe r could love this liver
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
