Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
