like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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