The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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