I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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