There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
