plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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