We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
