i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
