there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
