dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
