You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
