So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize