Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
