You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
