yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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