how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
