I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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