its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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