id be glad to
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
