I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize