I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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