i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The air was thick with penises
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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