WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
