Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
