Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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