dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
