Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
