My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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