Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
