Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
