Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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