no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
