I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
