I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
