i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I didn't notice because vodka
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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