This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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