Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
