haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
