If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
