Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
