I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
