Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
