great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
