i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
