i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
