then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
In America we eat man semen.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
