Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize