I wish my penis had an off switch
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Fuck appropriateness.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
