Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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