Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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