normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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