I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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