dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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