you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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