Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize