I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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