need another drink. this is the easiest way
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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