I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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