Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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